Tomorrow we will post pics of the birthday bash. In the meantime on a long, cold, rainy weekend I had plenty of time to contemplate and remember collies of the past. The generation that has left us left big pawprints to fill. They were collies of a giant stature that had led early lives in kennels and were moved into a home setting. Those collies knew cold, rain, lonely and hard times. They thrived in their new setting and became characters that kept the meadow rocking by the minute. They lived life to the fullest and were super smart and very, very thankful to live in their new conditions.
The only one who lived under those conditions and is still with us is Ellie, but she was not of that generation for they were her parents. She, like the other collies here are dynamic and wonderful collies but they have never known those conditions and sometimes… well it shows. They tend to take for granted things the previous generation were so surprised and thankful to have. Yes, they are spoiled rotten….
But, they have big pawprints to fill….. and the problem is as they discover and explore and conquer things knew to them… well.. we have seen it before. Like always the closeness of the collie family temporarily recedes after the loss of one of them and this weekend as I watched the collies it seems so different…… so much is missing. We’ve experienced it before through all our losses, but for some reason this time it is different….. and it is. But, some of it just may be me… for the ones knitting th family back together now are Lad, Branwen and lil Hallie…… collies who were children of the greatest generation and a grandchild of them. The greatest generation came as leaders…. this one has had to grow into it….. I’ve known all the collies since they were born and one even was born here… the other I was there when she was made…
So much is gone now and missing and my heart aches at the loss. But, as I contemplated more I realize that a lot of this perspective is my own…. this generation now is coming into its time of leading and running the meadow. How will they do? Probably just as well as their ancestors did…. and in time we shall see. As I watched and thought about it all I realize that part of the problem is myself for I am stuck in the “golden age” here at the meadow. As I look back I remember those collies coming here and establishing relationships with them and building this from scratch… now we are rebuilding with their descendants…. and I am comparing them to their ancestors which isn;t fair to them. They will become a great generation of collies themselves…. but it will be different…. it will be what they make to be. It will take me a while to get used to it…. but I will.
While losing my collies has always been tough…. I think as I get older I perhaps handle the loss better but I like it less than ever…. change is constant and in 5 years this generation will be exiting the meadow due to old age….
There is nothing one can do about it, but it doesn’t make it any easier. All I can do is make the most of it… but right now I find that hard to do……and that is my fault. I don;t go on because I am strong, or brave or any of that bullcrap ppl say. I go on because I have no choice…. it is part of life and here at the Meadow we will continue forward and time will continue to pass and things will change. That is the only constant…..